The Outrageous Autistic

As I read a number of autistic bloggers, one thing becomes very clear:  there are a lot of people with chips on their shoulders. At some point, some autistic blogger will write a post about how someone somewhere at sometime did something that was offensive.  So they write a post basically ordering people to stop doing whatever it is they are doing that the blogger finds offensive. But they usually don’t stop there.  They then question the person’s motives, seeing them as not really caring about the autistic community. I always find these posts tiring and whiny.  Yes, some people … Continue reading The Outrageous Autistic

The Life and Times of An Accidental Jerk

I have a love-hate relationship with the church. Yes, that’s kind of an odd thing for someone whose job revolves around the church to say, but it’s true.  Church can offer me comfort and challenge me in my mission of being Christ to others. But has also been a place of pain, a place where others misunderstand me and where I am constantly wondering if I’m doing the right thing and scared how people will react when I do get it wrong. I don’t know how it is with other folks with Aspergers, what I am sharing might just be … Continue reading The Life and Times of An Accidental Jerk

The Pastor With Broken Wings

One of the things that any pastor of a congregation has to do is visit people where they live.  First Christian has a number of folks who are either in nursing homes or assisted living. Some pastors love visiting with people.  A number of congregations have what are called Visitation Pastors.  These are usually retired pastor who go around visiting the sick and shut-ins.  Most of the visitation pastors that I know tend to be rather jovial and extroverted people. But First doesn’t have a visitation pastor.  Correction, they do and it happens to be me. Visitation is a challenge … Continue reading The Pastor With Broken Wings

Yet Another Post on Church Planting

It’s been a bittersweet time for me. On the one hand, I am excited of being pastor at First Christian.  There are a lot of challenges; the church is down a faithful few and we are starting to find ways to grow numerically and spiritually as well.  Most churches that are down to a handful would just close and that was suggested to the folks at First.  But they decided to stick together and keep on keeping on.  I am amazed at their faith and feel honored to journey with them as First-St. Paul becomes something new and yet the … Continue reading Yet Another Post on Church Planting

Hanging Out With Dennis

I’ve never been the guy that people want to hang out with.  I’ve never been the person that people really want to confide in.  For the most part, I’ve been the guy on the outside of the group. None of this means that I have no friends.  It does mean that there is a certain platonic intimacy that I haven’t fully experienced.  It does mean learning to be alone.   I’m beginning to understand that the reason it has been such a struggle to make friends is because I’m autistic; meaning, I have difficulty communicating to others.  I’ve started to … Continue reading Hanging Out With Dennis

Out of Place

When I was in high school, I ran track.  I didn’t run well, but I did run track.  Practice would take place after school.  I remember heading into the locker room to change, and passing by this front room set aside for physical therapy.  Every time I passed by there were people my age chatting and having a good time. One day, I decided I was going to join in.  I came in after practice and walked into the room.  Unlike other days, the room was mostly empty save for one student who was being attended to by a teacher.  … Continue reading Out of Place

Things I Wish I Could Say

I’ve never been good at telling people…well anything. It’s not like I don’t say anything, I just don’t always say what’s on my mind. My brain doesn’t always work with my mouth. Below are some things that I’ve wanted to say to people, but for whatever reason, I haven’t. Most of these sentences apply to more than one person or one occasion. Here they are: You mean a lot to me and that I’m proud to call you my friend. I actually do care, even if my actions tell you otherwise. I know I can be a loose cannon at … Continue reading Things I Wish I Could Say

I Can’t Help Myself (Well, I Could with a Little Practice)

One of the things that my husband Daniel has observed is how I tend to just do things rather impulsively.  He is correct, I do tend to just throw myself into things without planning.  The reason for my behavior is because I have a weak executive function, a result of Aspergers. What is executive function, you say?  Well, I found this definition from the blog Musings of an Aspie: Executive function is a broad term that refers to the cognitive processes that help us regulate,  control and manage our thoughts and actions. It includes planning, working memory, attention, problem solving, verbal … Continue reading I Can’t Help Myself (Well, I Could with a Little Practice)

Beyond the Bitchy Queen?

There are people in your life who’ve come and gone They let you down and hurt your pride Better put it all behind you; life goes on You keep carrin’ that anger, it’ll eat you inside -Don Henley, The Heart of the Matter I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to be the oddest gay man around. Maybe it’s because of my aspergers, but I don’t tend to carry a whole lot of bitterness that some gays and lesbians that I know have.  The uses of the Bible to justify homophobia didn’t leave me afraid of the Bible.  I … Continue reading Beyond the Bitchy Queen?

On Controlling My Tasmanian Devil

Aspergers is an interesting thing.  Having an autism spectrum disorder means that you have communication issues.  Because it can be hard to communicate with others and because you kind of live in your own little world, it’s hard to know when you might be acting out.  In my time as a pastor, I’ve sometimes acted impulsively and wasn’t always diplomatic when tact was needed.  I’ve had to learn how to keep my emotions in check and that lashing out wasn’t always a good thing. I’ve had to learn to control my Tasmanian Devil. I’ve sometimes described myself as a flesh … Continue reading On Controlling My Tasmanian Devil