Repost: Out of Place

Note: I wrote this earlier this year about relationships. One thing I’d like to add: tell people that you care for them or that you are their friend. For someone like me with autism it can make all the difference in the world. When I was in high school, I ran track. I didn’t run well, but I did run track. Practice would take place after school. I remember heading into the locker room to change, and passing by this front room set aside for physical therapy. Every time I passed by there were people my age chatting and having … Continue reading Repost: Out of Place

Out of Place

When I was in high school, I ran track.  I didn’t run well, but I did run track.  Practice would take place after school.  I remember heading into the locker room to change, and passing by this front room set aside for physical therapy.  Every time I passed by there were people my age chatting and having a good time. One day, I decided I was going to join in.  I came in after practice and walked into the room.  Unlike other days, the room was mostly empty save for one student who was being attended to by a teacher.  … Continue reading Out of Place

The Friendship Factor

After 44 years on this planet, I’ve come to a startling conclusion: I really suck at making friends. It’s not that I don’t have friends.  It’s just that I haven’t been good at making close friendships. You have to understand something when it comes to people with Aspergers- since we miss social cues we basically fly into relationships of all stripes blind.  Where others can make friends easily, it’s an uphill climb for me.  It’s like having to play a piece of music, without seeing the notes. How do I act around a person?  Do I try to be more … Continue reading The Friendship Factor

Friendship, the Bible and 2 Couples

A few days ago, I went to the wedding of two dear friends.  They’ve been together for 30 years, but with the advent of same sex marriage in Minnesota, they decided to have a public wedding. Talk about  a long engagement. One of the passages used during the service was the first chapter of the book of Ruth.  It’s the story of a Jewish woman named Naomi who sees not only her husband, but her sons die in this alien land.  She decides to go back to Israel and her two daughters-in-law want to come with her.  She tries to … Continue reading Friendship, the Bible and 2 Couples

These Aren’t the Evangelicals You’re Looking For

A few years ago, I was invited by a Lutheran friend of mine to take part in a group of church planters.  I knew these folk came from an evangelical background and my “shields” went up.  Would these people accept me?  Did I have to go into the closet here? After a while, the woman who was leading the group noticed my hesitancy.  “Dennis, are you gay?” she asked.  She didn’t ask the question in a mean or menacing way, but more to get at what was making me so shy. Having grown up in an evangelical culture where being … Continue reading These Aren’t the Evangelicals You’re Looking For

On Holy Friendships

My thoughts these days are drifting towards relationships, or the lack thereof in churches. I’ve been thinking about this in light of a recent blog post on CivilPolitics.org on the dearth of cross-party friendships.  The post linked to a longer article in the Chronicle of Higher Education on the issue.  The author, Neil Gross notes that such friendships have benefits for the whole of society: President Obama last month took a group of Republican senators to dinner at the Jefferson Hotel, in Washington, to discuss the sequestration crisis and a wide range of other policy matters. The next day he … Continue reading On Holy Friendships

Wait for the Healing

Back in May of 2012 , I shared a story of what happened at a Baptist church I attended in Washington, DC in the early 90s.  It was a story of how people who disagreed with each other on the issue of homosexuality were able to still be friends and support each other. Around that same time, I remember someone saying something after a congregation was going to make a tough vote on becoming open and affirming.  The exact situation is foggy after 20 years, but what I remember this woman saying that after this vote, “there would be some … Continue reading Wait for the Healing

I’m Jack’s Banished Dog.

Recently, I wrote a post on how difficult friendships can be for me.  I don’t know if I explained it very well, but here’s a taste: It’s not that I don’t want friends; the fact is I really desire friendships and there have been people that I really want to be good friends with.  But the problems with communication makes it very hard.  Sometimes I hold back, scared to move forward and what to do.  Sometimes I charge ahead and I’m waaay too forceful or say something that might creep people out.  And sometimes, I’m just a big asshole that … Continue reading I’m Jack’s Banished Dog.

The Mysteries of Friendship

  If there is one thing that has confounded me in my 43 years on this planet, it would have to be relationships.  I’ve learned that when you are someone on the autistic spectrum, you encounter the enigma of relationships. It’s not that I don’t want relationships.  It’s just that I don’t really know what to do with them. My adventures in romantic relationships is for another post.  Right now I want to focus on friendship, because it has been the most challenging type of relationship.  It’s not that I don’t want friends; the fact is I really desire friendships … Continue reading The Mysteries of Friendship